Monday, July 24, 2006
Hmm..
I wish every thing would be fine, and there will no fight anymore. I decided to come back and she has to know that I would not be the same. When I met her at that time (when I went back home), first thing I saw her in airport smiling to me.
And i realised that I don't have any feeling anymore. I lost it, but I did not regret it. She knew about it i guess.
I did try to pretent that I still have any feeling that i used to have, it worked for sometime till finally i could not stand anymore. Than, I told her to try different way but it ended up with figthing and crying. I couldn't stand to hear her crying.
Now, she knew that i had no feeling anymore. I told her. That, I had not to pretend to love her anymore. I don't know when It will come back.
And I have to realise that our relationship was based on "need", not love anymore. This makes me more comfortable, and beside that i would be together with my kid.
She need somthing from me, and I need something from her. Sound fair enough for me. Actually I am wishing that we will not talk about our feeling anymore, at least I don't want to talk my personnal feeling. If she wants to talk or say about what she feels I could not resist also right.
And I wish everything would be fine as the plan. I believe, that is the best way for us since we never love each other in the real meaning. We were just blind, and just late to realise that it was not love.
She knew long time that we're neve meant to be, and I believe now that we are not meant to be.
Wish she find somebody else who cares more and love her.
Yes I miss her, sometime I miss making love with her so bad which I never think to make love with other woman.
The thing that makes me happy is we are have the same concern about Bianglala. We do care about her.
I wish every thing would be fine, and there will no fight anymore. I decided to come back and she has to know that I would not be the same. When I met her at that time (when I went back home), first thing I saw her in airport smiling to me.
And i realised that I don't have any feeling anymore. I lost it, but I did not regret it. She knew about it i guess.
I did try to pretent that I still have any feeling that i used to have, it worked for sometime till finally i could not stand anymore. Than, I told her to try different way but it ended up with figthing and crying. I couldn't stand to hear her crying.
Now, she knew that i had no feeling anymore. I told her. That, I had not to pretend to love her anymore. I don't know when It will come back.
And I have to realise that our relationship was based on "need", not love anymore. This makes me more comfortable, and beside that i would be together with my kid.
She need somthing from me, and I need something from her. Sound fair enough for me. Actually I am wishing that we will not talk about our feeling anymore, at least I don't want to talk my personnal feeling. If she wants to talk or say about what she feels I could not resist also right.
And I wish everything would be fine as the plan. I believe, that is the best way for us since we never love each other in the real meaning. We were just blind, and just late to realise that it was not love.
She knew long time that we're neve meant to be, and I believe now that we are not meant to be.
Wish she find somebody else who cares more and love her.
Yes I miss her, sometime I miss making love with her so bad which I never think to make love with other woman.
The thing that makes me happy is we are have the same concern about Bianglala. We do care about her.
# posted by Earth @ 1:05 PM 
